(This picture really made me see what I have achieved so far. The picture on the left, is from a little less than a year ago, on New Years Eve 2008. The picture on the right is of me, 54 pounds lighter on Thanksgiving in November of 2009.)
The reason I have started a blog about my weight loss, is simple. I need to get my feelings out about all the changes, emotions, and experiences I am going through in my life. First of all, for those of you who don't exactly know me, I guess I should start at the beginning. In my life I have ALWAYS had problems with my weight. Even as a younger girl, and in elementary school I was always the girl who was "bigger" than the other kids. I guess I never really saw this as a problem because I felt like I enjoyed being who I was, and doing the things in my life as a kid that I believed were normal.
When I was around 13 years old, my pediatrician wanted to talk to my mom about my excessive weight gain, as well as my blood pressure being unusually high. I went to many doctors at this age, trying to figure out what was going on with my body, and why I had gained so much weight at such a young age. I have to be honest, this time in my life was completely awkward for me and at thirteen I was put on diuretics, as well as blood pressure medicine. Being on medication went on for many years, and even though I was so young, I don't think I really realized what was going on, or the effects that such things as gaining weight would have on my life.
Things such as other kids teasing me, guys playing games with me, dumping me, etc. because of my weight happened a lot to me in my life. It was tough, but it seemed like I always felt like I made an excuse for it. Believe me, I believe this world is very cruel sometimes, especially to people who have issues with their weight, but sometimes I look back now and wish I would have taken this step in my life early and seen for myself that I needed to change, and that this change would change my life forever.
After graduating high school in 2005, and falling completely head over heels with my, now fiance Ben, I gained even more weight. It was hard, because as I had always found in my life, I had much comfort in food and socializing with food, and friends. I will never, ever blame anyone but MYSELF for gaining the weight that I did. Things in my life were good, but such events as my Grandmother, who was one of my best friends and major supporter of my musical career in high school, passing away, and just becoming comfortable in my own skin, and around my boyfriend who loved me "no matter what", did have some thing to do with my weight gain.
Around June or July of last year, I had an awakening moment for myself. I stepped on the scale one day, and like a ton of bricks I realized that my weight had spun out of control. I was at a point that I felt I had constantly been making excuses for my weight, and letting it control my life, and I had not taken control of it for sometime. But in that moment I realized that it was time that I take control, and until I was to a point that I felt like I could slow down, I would do anything to lose the weight that I had carried around with me for so long. After talking with my parents, and somewhat breaking down with them about my fears, we started talking about going to my local gym and looking into some personal training sessions. To this day, I am so happy I made that decision and that step in my life. Not only now do I have an AMAZING trainer, and friend but because of her support, my fiance's, and family and friends I have achieved many life changing events in my life.
As of now, since starting training, and just changing my life for the better, I have lost 54 pounds. But believe me, this is great but I am not done yet! I have a goal of 100 pounds by this coming summer, and considering I had done about 50 in less than 4 months, I KNOW this is possible! So hopefully with this blog, I not only help myself get through this amazing, yet tough time in my life, but I might possibly inspire others to look at their lives and see that maybe its time for that extra push. I want to be around for many years, and I want to be able to have a wonderful life with my fiance, and possibly have kids in the future. I know that I have taken the right steps so far and that there is no going back now!
No matter what, I WILL NOT STOP until I reach my goal!
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