It is interesting to me with my weight loss journey to almost be on the other side of things,and see the way the world is differently now. For one, I know and I hope everyone else knows that this world at times is really shallow, and focuses far too much on a woman's body, and not her mind or her achievements in life. It is really concerning to me that once I have lost this weight, how the attention from people, men in particular has shifted. I think in my head as with a recent experience, "You never noticed me before, so why all the sudden are you saying something to me?".You see someone's true colors at times with these type of things, and in this instance it was definitely not the side I would have chosen to see. Believe me, I would NEVER act on these things, because I have a wonderful, and amazing man in my life. I love him unconditionally, and examples and experiences like this just show how amazing and lucky I am to have who I have in my life.
But lately, I see the way men start looking at me, as I am an object or something. It is so sickening! I try not to let it bother me, but it just proves that this world is so focused on body image, and beauty.And I am not saying that ALL men are like this,but it just seems that I have been running across it more and more, in public,and in my work place.Of course, I feel so much better with the weight lost, and a stronger body but wasn't I a good person, and a beautiful person inside and out before I changed? It just makes me question things. It is not that I want to stop this journey, but in the same sense it is easy to see how many slip away or stop because they feel like they have become "good enough" or "beautiful enough".
Enough of my ranting..
I went to a Nike Fit Class today at my gym with my Mom, and OHHH MAN, it was killer. I have never felt my butt,legs, arms and abs burn that way before.It was a really great "sweat worthy class", with a combination of step aerobics, weight lifting,drills and ab work.For me today, it was really awesome to see how far I have come with my ability to keep pushing myself, and to keep moving. Me, 56 pounds ago would have had to stop and would probably feel like she was going to vomit, or faint. The new me is ready for whatever the instructor wanted to throw at her, and I was sweating the whole way through it!
With Christmas approaching rapidly,I have also had to really keep my walls up against all the wonderful, good smelling cookies, candies, and chocolates that have been floating around work, around my apartment and at social gatherings. It makes me feel SO good when I can strongly say, "I'm not going to eat this." or when someone offers me a cookie,to be able to nicely refuse it. The old me, well she wouldn't want to be rude, and maybe she would take more than one! I know my weaknesses, and I know my triggers, and I have definitely been able to keep the walls high and not eat the normal sweets I do around the Holidays!
Well, that's it for now..Off to watch some more movies and then work later!
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