These last few weeks have been crazy for me personally, emotionally and mentally. Working through the motions and processes of my life at times can be extremely challenging. But if I do not stay on, focused and determined and aware of the good , the challenging and the progress that I can pursue I know things will continue to flow and continue to move toward progress in my life.
This week I really sat down and thought about some questions that were brought to me. Here are some things I know, some things I am learning and things that I am continuing to grow with.
Where do you feel most empowered?
For me I feel most empowered in the gym. I feel like I am strong, confident and can take on the world from the barbell, floor, or pull up bar. I know I may be where I want to be yet but I am continuing to strive to move forward.
When do you feel courageous?
When I feel the most courageous when I am in front of a pad of paper, a notebook, and with a paint brush/pen with my creative flow moving through me. I feel that I am aware of my emotions, I am able to speak out without fear and be courageous in my words and my emotions without getting inside my head.
What areas of your life feel fulfilled?
I feel my life is fulfilled and overflowing in the following areas:
1. My marriage and relationship with my husband. We are continuing to understand, motivate, love and be courageous together. It at times can be rocky and we at times can both be stubborn in our ways and ideas. The most important thing I have learned through our relationship is the idea of support and willingly letting go of the small things, learning to communicate and love creatively together.
2. My gym. I feel completely fulfilled, alive and embraced by my community, my gym family and my motivation when I step foot into Sweat360 on a daily basis.
3. I feel fulfilled in knowing that I still have a ways to go in figuring out my body, my emotions and just my daily lifestyle. I am not perfect and I am going to continue to challenge myself to find out how my walk of life and the way my life can and will work. It is a continuous journey of learning and understanding of myself!
What are your weaknesses?
1. I know one of my biggest weaknesses is caring WAY TOO MUCH about what other people think (or what I think they may be thinking) I know this is something that has gotten in the way of my progress and my journey through life. My great friend and coach Lara the other evening drew a really great visual sketch/quick learning for me as we we were talking the other day. This is an example that I know I will continue to look back to when the type of thoughts, situations or feelings come up.
Here in this photo we have me going along the journey/road of life. Along the way as you can see on the right there are the doubters, the "haters" or just people in general who will try to bring you down, and try to distract you from your journey ahead. If you stop to listen, to be convinced of those whispers, doubters and others along the road you will become distracted and ultimately not get to the destination point of finding my true self. I have been there though along this journey and unfortunately stopped and listened to the people/thoughts and ideas that I didn't need to hear and didn't need to believe. But now I have turned around and continued on life and will continue to move forward. This is such a great sketch/clear picture of where I am , where I have been and where I want to be going.
2. I have unfortunately been shaming my body, putting myself down and not believe in myself. Going along with being distracted by others and certain situations my mind is sometimes my worst enemy. I can take myself down the path of destruction continuously while convincing myself I am not good enough and not worthy. It is a viscous cycle and one that I have to continue to turn around in my life. I know there are so many great things I am doing, I know my body is working on becoming what is wants and needs to be. I must remember that these processes and thoughts and changing of ones ways are not just an overnight success. I am continuing to push on, push through and continue to get better at this.
What are your strengths?
1. One of my biggest strengths that I personally believe and see in myself is my willingness to change, to grow and to continue to move forward. Along the way I have stumbled, fallen over even injuring myself in mental, emotional ways but I continue to try and spread my wings of change and move on. I have been to the lowest of low but continue to move forward and really put passion into my daily life, thoughts and processes.
2. I am creative, I feel inspired and I want to continue to live my life and my strengths with passion.
What can you change?
What I really can change is my thoughts. I need to turn around the thoughts and the things I am getting hung up on and let them GO. I will get to where I need to be in time but I need to continue to never give up and always press forward. If I change these ideas, these movements and these ways and behaviors success will come for myself full force.
What can you surrender?
1. The what I can change and what I can surrender I believe go hand in hand. Change the thoughts, the things that bring me down and surrender those things, write them down, burn the piece of paper and move on.
2. I can also surrender that I am not perfect. I can work towards success and I can achieve success but sometimes I just need to surrender, need to cry, grieve and be frustrated to figure out a solution to how I am feeling and find a pathway through it all. The moments in time are the way that I at times work through things
Striving for my most authentic self. Striving to be truly 110% ME.
Emily
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