Sometimes it is so easy to let the scale define myself and my progress. I have really been diving in head, nose, mind and body first to try and understand my thought process and the way I think about myself lately when I get on the scale. As I have slowly began to lose weight again I am noticing so much more because I have not put myself on the scale everyday. Rather than relying on that number to tell me how successful I am I have approached the scale and my relationship with it much differently this time around. Rather than relying on that number to base the value of my success and my achievements I have chosen to look at how I am feeling vs. whatever number that scale shows me on a daily basis. I have based my life around my own personal accountability and not letting that number get to me. Sure, when I weighed myself for my monthly check-in on Friday this may not have been the number I wanted to see. For once I am starting to be honest with myself and continue to push forward without just giving up. Sure there will be times in my life where I stumble and I fall a little. But the key to this is to get back up and start off from where you are.
Another thing I have found extremely useful with my weight loss is listing, having dialogue and writing my thoughts down about how I am feeling about that number. Whether or not I would like to admit it I know that I am not at the ideal number weight wise that I want to be continuing on in life and the future. But what has this number really taught me? What can I learn from what the scale has shown me on any given day? I feel like many times the scale is my worst nightmare, evilest friend and enemy. I do not enjoy getting on the scale and to be completely real with myself and whoever is reading this I sometimes get a little anxiety about it. It at times stresses me out to no end.
What I have decided to do is rather than dictate my daily life, moments and future because of this number is to just BE.
- Be the person who isn't quite at the weight they want to be but still gets out there everyday and moves.
- Be the person who lifts some heavy shit, shows up and leaves the floor sweaty with no excuses.
- Be the girl who gets there and stays there and is aware that life happens and to learn and grow from her own experiences.
- Be whatever I want to be. Don't apologize and be true to myself and my own passions.
- Be loving and be passionate. Show kindness to whoever really needs it and to those who have shown you and continue to teach you great lessons in life.
So the scale isn't showing me what I ideally want to see for the rest of my life. Should I fret over my weight or just go ahead and get out there and kick ass in whatever way I want to?! I feel like this is something that I of course still struggle with constantly. But I am making a promise to myself to not rely on my weight as a barrier but to grow and learn and expand on so much more without worrying about that silly number!
“The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can't be any large-scale revolution until there's a personal revolution, on an individual level. It's got to happen inside first.”
― Jim Morrison
― Jim Morrison
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