Sorry to have not posted in a while, but oh man have I been busy! Between work, my school schedule, trying to maintain a healthy and contacted relationship with my fiance, and working out as much as I can I have felt like lately I haven't had time to stop and think. So now, at 12:51 am..I am stopping... And thinking. This past month has been just a whirlwind! I have been having a few issues with my knees, with all the running I have been doing, but after Lara, my personal trainer at 24 hour fitness, showed me a way to "roll out" my thigh muscles (Ok, this is me sounded dumb because I don't know the name of that muscle..) that are connected to my knees, my knees now feel amazing! Lately though, I have had running on my mind 24/7. When I wake up I want to go running, when I am sleeping I DREAM about running, and when I am at school or work I WISH I was outside running. And you know, the beautiful Oregon weather lately hasn't been helping my drive to stay focused lately on anything else either!
I have to say that I have finally hit a point in my weight loss journey where I am becoming so much more comfortable with my body and with the way I feel about how my body looks. When I look at pictures at myself I don't instantly come to the realization of "Oh, there's my double-chin," or "Oh my belly is sticking out". Do you know how weird to me it is that I can see and FEEL my collar bones!??!? All this time, those things were hiding under there! (ha.) And another thing, I have to say that my bottom end has become REALLY FLAT. WHAT?!?! Serious, no more junk in the trunk for me anymore, and you know what?, I am okay with that:)
It is getting closer and closer to the Shamrock Run in March and I have to say I am SO excited! This is going to be a major moment for me, and to prove to myself that I have become a very athletic person. Which is something extremely weird for me because, yet again before this journey I was not very athletic. I was unfortunately someone who wanted to just focus on the things at hand in my life, and I didn't see that my weight was effecting my drive, and motivation to be healthier and happier in my life. I now really enjoy running and that exhilarating feeling of accomplishment when I run is something that I have learned to love.
Of course I have changed a lot with the transformation in my looks and weight, but one thing that I know and need to say to the people in my life is that, I am still ME. I am still the same Emily you knew 7 months ago, still have the same personality, and love for life. I have told myself time and time again during this process that my attitude will not change about people around me, or that my personality will not change just because I am "smaller" now. I think that at times some people get caught up in the compliments or the goal of to getting to that weight desired in anyway possible, and some times that can hinder and change a person. This can instantly and easily become and obsession, and turn into other things that I do not want for myself, i.e. an eating disorder, or gaining the weight all back. I am taking this journey in my life at my MY OWN PACE, and this is not a competition for me. And once I get to my goal, I will be maintaining it for years to come in a still healthy, and positive way:)
Well, this is it for now. I need to get some sleep because I have decided to start getting up an hour earlier to run on some amazing turf field across the street from my apartment to help my knees, as well as keep my running up! Oh man, its gonna be an early morning but I'm going to LOVEEEE IITTT.
