3 more pounds lost!

So, today started out wonderful.. I lost three more pounds this week, and I feel great! I had a great work out, great time with Ben, and then..it started snowing. Don't get me wrong, I love snow but when its torrential down pour of snow and it makes our new car slide..I loathe snow. Also, it irritated me. Here I am today, getting ready for Ben and I's trip to Vegas with our friend Lisa and its snowing cats & dogs! AH! But, hopefully if all goes well, we will be boarding our plane to Seattle, and then Vegas on time:)

It is as well almost New Years Eve, and I have been thinking about what my New Years Resolution is for this year. 1st resolution for me is to keep moving forward in my weight loss journey, there is no stopping me now! The 2nd one I thought of was to be more appreciative to Ben. He seriously has been an amazing support to me, but now even in his own weight loss journey that he is starting, I need to be his support now. He is really trying to be supportive, and be there for me even though I know it is sometimes hard to deal with me (Yes, if Ben is seeing this, I am admitting this [; ) and I need to realize that he wants the same things I want in life, and we can do it together:) New Years Resolutions used to be so tough for me, but now I am really seeing that I have already somewhat hit my resolutions, in places I never thought I would be, or imagine for myself right now! I am so happy with who I am becoming!

Today's work out with my trainer was really good, but after taking the Nike Fit class yesterday, I was SOO sore. I think it's the little breaks in between sets of reps, or with the weight training that really help me not be sore the next day. But the instructor didn't take very many breaks, and by the end of the class I was again DEAD.My friend Lisa and I while we are in Vegas these next few days are going to trek out for an hour or two and go to the 24 hour fitness that is about 6 miles away from our hotel, MGM Grand. So, I'm hoping I can still keep my eating, and ESPECIALLY my drinking under control. To be honest, the last time I drank was in July, when I went to Vegas before so now I think I might be even more of a light weight. For me, I've always felt like I never had limits on my drinking. Like, I couldn't just have one drink, I had to have like four or five...Then, thus me drinking makes me eat a lot of crap and feel disgusting the next day. So, I've made a pack with Lisa and we are keeping each other accountable! We will probably just have one or two drinks on New Years Eve, and that's it. I'm sure some of you are thinking, "Wow, your in Vegas and you're not going to drink a lot?"..I'm telling you, this 100 pound mark for me is SOOOO CLOSE that I can almost taste it, and I can for sure feel it!

Many people have been asking me as well about what I am going to do once I hit the 100 pound mark. Honestly, I think I am going to jump for joy when I finally reach that point! For me, I have never lost this much weight before, and being able to do this in the time I have inspires me and pushing me to keep moving forward with my weight loss journey. I also am going to be able to finally feel comfortable with getting my 1st tattoo. Not sure what I want yet, but I want something that will inspire me to never lose sight, or gain back the weight I have lost!

Well, possibly won't be posting for the next few days since I'll be in Vegas. But I would like to post some before and after pictures when I get the chance from when I went back in July to Vegas, and the pictures from this trip when I get the chance:) Happy New Year everyone!

So, I am sore.

I am the most sore I think than I have felt in a while. This morning, I went to a "spin" class at the gym, and nearly died. It was hard, and I did it but oh man, I have never thought in my head so many times, "Kill me now, kill me now!" Oh my, it was just intense. The mixing of intervals, sprinting and pushing the endurance of the bike itself was amazing, yet extremely difficult. But even though it was killer, almost on the boarder line of painful, I still got through it. After the class, I felt relieved, and motivated to keep going in my journey. The me, 56 pounds ago would have not been able to work as hard as I did today, and burn as many calories as I'm sure I have today. (Haven't checked my bodybugg for today, but I'm sure I burned A LOT of calories.)

Speaking of calorie burn, when I took the Nike Fit class, for just one hour during that class I burned 850 calories! It is crazy to think about, and it for sure makes me want to keep taking the class and keep trying new things:)

With tomorrow being Christmas Eve, I am hoping that my nutrition and fitness can stay on track in these next few days! It is not like other Christmas's for me because I am going to not try to eat as much as I normally would. I have a goal that I need to get down at least another 3 pounds by the New Year! And that is as well with going on a trip to Vegas Dec. 30-Jan. 2nd!

I just need to keep telling me that I can do it and I am strong enough to keep moving forward!

Merry Christmas & A Happy New Year Everyone:)

Seeing a new side of things...

It is interesting to me with my weight loss journey to almost be on the other side of things,and see the way the world is differently now. For one, I know and I hope everyone else knows that this world at times is really shallow, and focuses far too much on a woman's body, and not her mind or her achievements in life. It is really concerning to me that once I have lost this weight, how the attention from people, men in particular has shifted. I think in my head as with a recent experience, "You never noticed me before, so why all the sudden are you saying something to me?".You see someone's true colors at times with these type of things, and in this instance it was definitely not the side I would have chosen to see. Believe me, I would NEVER act on these things, because I have a wonderful, and amazing man in my life. I love him unconditionally, and examples and experiences like this just show how amazing and lucky I am to have who I have in my life.

But lately, I see the way men start looking at me, as I am an object or something. It is so sickening! I try not to let it bother me, but it just proves that this world is so focused on body image, and beauty.And I am not saying that ALL men are like this,but it just seems that I have been running across it more and more, in public,and in my work place.Of course, I feel so much better with the weight lost, and a stronger body but wasn't I a good person, and a beautiful person inside and out before I changed? It just makes me question things. It is not that I want to stop this journey, but in the same sense it is easy to see how many slip away or stop because they feel like they have become "good enough" or "beautiful enough".

Enough of my ranting..

I went to a Nike Fit Class today at my gym with my Mom, and OHHH MAN, it was killer. I have never felt my butt,legs, arms and abs burn that way before.It was a really great "sweat worthy class", with a combination of step aerobics, weight lifting,drills and ab work.For me today, it was really awesome to see how far I have come with my ability to keep pushing myself, and to keep moving. Me, 56 pounds ago would have had to stop and would probably feel like she was going to vomit, or faint. The new me is ready for whatever the instructor wanted to throw at her, and I was sweating the whole way through it!

With Christmas approaching rapidly,I have also had to really keep my walls up against all the wonderful, good smelling cookies, candies, and chocolates that have been floating around work, around my apartment and at social gatherings. It makes me feel SO good when I can strongly say, "I'm not going to eat this." or when someone offers me a cookie,to be able to nicely refuse it. The old me, well she wouldn't want to be rude, and maybe she would take more than one! I know my weaknesses, and I know my triggers, and I have definitely been able to keep the walls high and not eat the normal sweets I do around the Holidays!

Well, that's it for now..Off to watch some more movies and then work later!

4 more pounds lost!

Yup, that's right; I lost four more pounds this week! After somewhat of a rough up and down week, and finals week I finally shed some more pounds when I weighed in yesterday. I am now up to 56 pounds lost!It feels so amazing, and rejuvenating for me to be losing weight! I say this over and over, but I never thought I would be able to lose this much weight, and in such little time. I always saw people coming and going through out my life, whether it be family members, friends, etc. that lost weight and for some reason I would always just pass it off and be like, "Oh, I could never do that", or "That will never happen to me". But it truly has changed my life, and yes I HAVE DONE IT. I not only think about the outcomes of not only eating certain things, or doing certain exercises, but this journey has as well given me a clear conscious and it has been able to put me on the right track. I not only have lost weight, but I am so much more happy, and positive. This last term of school, for example, normal me before I had lost all the weight would be stressing out every minute of the day, trying to get things done, along with work, and just life in general. But because I feel like I have more of my life in balance now because of my weight loss, I really slowed down my life and trusted myself for once. I got through the term with flying colors, as well as getting an A, B-, and a B in my classes! I can not fathom enough how good, healthy, and free I feel because of my weight loss.

Another thing that has really been a bonus for me in my weight loss, has been being able to buy cute clothing, and accessories for myself! It's amazing that this weight has dropped, and I now again can start looking and buying in the smaller sizes! I have gone from a size 22 pant size, and now am down to an 18, almost a size 16 now. My shirt sizes have gone from being an XXL or 2X size, but now I am down to a XL or a L, depending on the style and fit. Its great to be able to go to the sizes or "youth" sizes even now, as well as not paying so much for plus size clothing! Something that I have never felt before, that I felt just recently, is that I am starting to feel comfortable in my own skin. I'm not so worried about "covering up" or layering my clothing anymore, or being afraid my pants will ride too low. Just recently, I actually just donated all my size 20 jeans because I would try to wear them, be walking around on campus, and by the end of the day I was having to pull them up every few steps! It was an almost out-of-body feeling, and for me pulling up my pants was something I had never had to think about, because I was always worried day to day if they still were going to fit me!

I am finally starting to see it for myself, and with christmas break happening for me at the moment I have been able to reflect on these changes in my life a lot more. I am so happy with what I have become, and who I am growing into with this new change in my life. Staying positive and motivating myself daily is something that I feel like I have finally accomplished!

Now, off to relax the rest of the night and watch movies!

Inspirational? Me?

So as I have said in many discussions with my wonderful friends, and as well as my fiance I believe that with my weight loss journey, it all began with wanting a change for myself, and to become a healthier, and happier person. Now after losing 54 pounds, I have found that people that I have known in my past, who I went to high school with, were distant relatives,etc., have been contacting me and sending me wonderful, and heartfelt emails. They range from how great I am looking, to asking for tips, but the thing that has touched me to the most, is that I am inspiring other people to take a healthy step in their lives for the better. A friend who I went to high school with really touched me today with the email I received from her. She as well is struggling with the many things such as problems with weight, as well as something that has been an issue for me as well, my blood pressure.
What touched me the most about this email was that a. it was completely unexpected and b. She told me that little ol' me, has inspired her to believe in herself. For me, this is one of the nicest things I believe anyone has ever said to me,and for once in my life, and maybe for the first time I feel like I have really accomplished a goal with this whole journey. Not only am I bettering myself, but others are becoming inspired and changing their lives for the better as well.It's funny how I have really not done any of this for anyone but myself, but in the end I am inspiring others.
It is possible people! Anyone can do it, and it at times can seem like it is not possible without the fad dieting, or not eating, but the simple things such as working out and eating right change everything! Not to say that this time of change will not be hard, or challenging, but the hard times will always make up for the good ones you will and can have in the future!

Today seemed like the longest day ever!

Today was a long one for me. On Monday and Wednesday during the week I work about 10-12 hour days, with some breaks in-between and of course some time to exercise. Today I did a class at my work called Bootcamp with a friend from work, and OH MAN it was killer! Today was a mix of step aerobics, and weight lifting as well as my new best friend, "the planks". All my friends who have taken the class with me the last few times are always amazed at how long I can do them. But, I would have to say it is because my trainer, Lara makes me do them like EVERY DAY.(hehe) It completely works your core, and I would have to say doing planks, whether they are elbow, pushup, or side planks, these babies are for sure the reason I have lost weight!

Some of you might be wondering what exactly I have done to loss weight, so here are some more facts about my journey. I not only personal train at my gym, but I as well use an AMAZING device called the BodyBugg by Apex Fitness. My mom's friend introduced me to hers when she started training with my trainer as well, and I was lucky enough to not have to pay full price for one, but got one that had been bought by someone, but just never opened. Basically the bodybugg tracks and monitors your heart rate, which in turn tracks how many calories you are burn as long as you wear it on your arm. It's been much of the key to my success, and has kept me very accountable. Not only does it track my calories burnt, but I as well go in and track what I am eating, and am keeping an online journal of what I eat each day. I have also had to make some sacrifices with what I eat, but for the better. I don't eat cheese as of right now, which for me was something I was eating A LOT of (maybe like every meal..haha) and I also am trying to stay away from eating out, sugar, and coffee.

By saying these things, I am by NO MEANS saying I am perfect. There have for sure been times along the way where I have slipped up. But for me, and because of the wonderful guidance everyone has given me, I just get back up the next day and start over. We are all going to have days that are crappy, and days that aren't as healthy with what were eating as we want them to be; BUT just start over the next day. Because I have slipped up a few times, I have also really been able to tune into my "triggers" as I like to call them. Eating out for me is a BIG TRIGGER. It just seems like, I can not ever pick something healthy. So what do I do to avoid it? I instead go to the grocery store and make something much more healthy at home! Its been a great motivator for me though to get into situations, but yet turn down the foods and "triggers" that I once used to not be able to control!

Also, on the working out side of things, I have been working out at least 4-5 times a week since the beginning of fall. With a combination of cardio, as well as weight training, I really feel like I have turned around and have so much more energy because of this! During the summer I was working out 6-7 days a week, but with school and work being in full swing I have had to minimize things somewhat. But, I am still losing! Its just hit a point for me that it is coming off a little bit slower. Especially with the holidays, I have felt like I have REALLY had to be a lot stronger and stay away from the cookies, candy, and treats, that I used to love so much during the Holidays. Instead, I have just been trying to focus on the fun times and memories I can make and have with my family and friends, and not the food that has always been involved with it!

Well, I do believe this is all for today, it's been a long day, and getting some extra hours of sleep for once sounds like a good idea!

Where it all began...

(This picture really made me see what I have achieved so far. The picture on the left, is from a little less than a year ago, on New Years Eve 2008. The picture on the right is of me, 54 pounds lighter on Thanksgiving in November of 2009.)

The reason I have started a blog about my weight loss, is simple. I need to get my feelings out about all the changes, emotions, and experiences I am going through in my life. First of all, for those of you who don't exactly know me, I guess I should start at the beginning. In my life I have ALWAYS had problems with my weight. Even as a younger girl, and in elementary school I was always the girl who was "bigger" than the other kids. I guess I never really saw this as a problem because I felt like I enjoyed being who I was, and doing the things in my life as a kid that I believed were normal.

When I was around 13 years old, my pediatrician wanted to talk to my mom about my excessive weight gain, as well as my blood pressure being unusually high. I went to many doctors at this age, trying to figure out what was going on with my body, and why I had gained so much weight at such a young age. I have to be honest, this time in my life was completely awkward for me and at thirteen I was put on diuretics, as well as blood pressure medicine. Being on medication went on for many years, and even though I was so young, I don't think I really realized what was going on, or the effects that such things as gaining weight would have on my life.

Things such as other kids teasing me, guys playing games with me, dumping me, etc. because of my weight happened a lot to me in my life. It was tough, but it seemed like I always felt like I made an excuse for it. Believe me, I believe this world is very cruel sometimes, especially to people who have issues with their weight, but sometimes I look back now and wish I would have taken this step in my life early and seen for myself that I needed to change, and that this change would change my life forever.

After graduating high school in 2005, and falling completely head over heels with my, now fiance Ben, I gained even more weight. It was hard, because as I had always found in my life, I had much comfort in food and socializing with food, and friends. I will never, ever blame anyone but MYSELF for gaining the weight that I did. Things in my life were good, but such events as my Grandmother, who was one of my best friends and major supporter of my musical career in high school, passing away, and just becoming comfortable in my own skin, and around my boyfriend who loved me "no matter what", did have some thing to do with my weight gain.

Around June or July of last year, I had an awakening moment for myself. I stepped on the scale one day, and like a ton of bricks I realized that my weight had spun out of control. I was at a point that I felt I had constantly been making excuses for my weight, and letting it control my life, and I had not taken control of it for sometime. But in that moment I realized that it was time that I take control, and until I was to a point that I felt like I could slow down, I would do anything to lose the weight that I had carried around with me for so long. After talking with my parents, and somewhat breaking down with them about my fears, we started talking about going to my local gym and looking into some personal training sessions. To this day, I am so happy I made that decision and that step in my life. Not only now do I have an AMAZING trainer, and friend but because of her support, my fiance's, and family and friends I have achieved many life changing events in my life.

As of now, since starting training, and just changing my life for the better, I have lost 54 pounds. But believe me, this is great but I am not done yet! I have a goal of 100 pounds by this coming summer, and considering I had done about 50 in less than 4 months, I KNOW this is possible! So hopefully with this blog, I not only help myself get through this amazing, yet tough time in my life, but I might possibly inspire others to look at their lives and see that maybe its time for that extra push. I want to be around for many years, and I want to be able to have a wonderful life with my fiance, and possibly have kids in the future. I know that I have taken the right steps so far and that there is no going back now!

No matter what, I WILL NOT STOP until I reach my goal!